


Love Me Like You Do

by Writing_in_SIN



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Dorks in Love, Enemies With Benefits, Enemies to Lovers, Enemy Lovers, First Love, Idiots in Love, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, Memory Loss, Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, Repressed Memories, Sexual Content, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:55:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21671824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_in_SIN/pseuds/Writing_in_SIN
Summary: First loves shouldn't be this tragic and yet, here they are— Emu and Parad; memories lost and on opposite sides within Kamen Rider Chronicle.
Relationships: Houjou Emu & Parad (Kamen Rider Ex-Aid), Houjou Emu/Parad
Comments: 20
Kudos: 83





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on a ParaEmu/EmuPara agenda and I'm taking y'all down with me XD
> 
> _______________________
> 
> CULTURE NOTES:
> 
> Valentine's Day in Japan: One of the primary differences is that Valentine's Day is mainly about woman gifting to men. Another difference is that for Valentine's Day, the women usually give chocolates and candy as opposed to flowers, jewelry, or other gifts like that. In Japan, the traditional way that Valentine's Day is celebrated, is for the girl's to give chocolates to the boy that she likes, as well as to others where there is no romantic interest.
> 
> * Honmei choco:Or True Feeling chocolates. In Japan, this chocolate is given to whom the giver has romantic feelings for.
> 
> * Giri choco: Or obligation chocolates. It is a relatively inexpensive type of chocolate that are given to co-workers, casual acquaintances, and others to whom they have no romantic attachment.
> 
> _________________________
> 
> TIMELINE: Compliant to Episode 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For years, when asked about his first love, Emu honestly can't remember anything beyond soft curls and impish grins.

* * *

Emu is in a bit of a bind.

Sitting in the recreation room within the paediatrics ward, Emu is surrounded from all sides by a group of wide eyed kids.

"Um..."

Eyes flitting around the room, Emu has to blink back from the onslaught of red and pink that's decorated almost on every surface. Rubbing a hand at the back of his neck, he clears his throat and plays with the edge of his coat sleeve.

Valentine's day.

While it's celebrated differently compared to the west, Japan still puts a lot of weight to the holiday. From the decorations to of course, the chocolates. Emu thinks he's lost count on how many honmei choco he's seen Hiiro was given by the besotted women within the hospital; colleagues and patients alike. Surprisingly, Emu himself had gotten a few honmei too, and as flattered as he is, he had to regrettably turn down the women who gave them to him. Considering his internship, duties as a CR doctor and recent worries regarding what Genm said about sympathizing with Bugsters after that disaster with Burgermon a few days ago, Emu doesn't have time for romance.

Giri choco is another story though; those are accepted gratefully _—_ especially the ones from Poppy.

The thing about celebrating Valentine's day, is that it'll inevitably lead to talks about romance. And since he works in paediatrics, well...it's impossible to avoid some really pointed questions from too curious kids unfortunately.

Like questions about first loves for example.

"C'mon, Houjou-sensei~!" One of the kids; a boy named Shinji tugs at his coat with a pout. "Tell us! Did you have a first love?"

A girl; Honoka nods eagerly. "Yeah! What was it like?"

"Was it nice?"

"I bet it was gross!"

"This is why boys are hopeless!"

"Was it romantic?"

Clearing his throat, Emu waves his hands about as his face heats up. "Calm down, kids. Why are you asking _me_ about this? I'm sure the other doctors or nurses have better stories about their first loves than I do."

"Actually," Tsuchiya; one of the nurses nearby speaks up with a flirty smile. "It's not a surprise for them to ask, Houjou-sensei. You're quite a catch after all."

Emu looks at the woman, exasperated and embarrassed. "Thank you, Tsuchiya-san but, that's not _—_ "

"Ah!" Shinji points to him. "Don't tell me you didn't have a first love?"

Chuckling, he shakes his head even as the children tries to talk over one another.

"I did." Once the kids calm down somewhat, Emu folds his legs and leans back on his palms with a wistful smile. "I do have a first love."

As the girls in the group eagerly lean forward, Honoka bounces in her seat with a delighted smile. "Really? Who was it? What was it like?"

_Let's play, Emu~!_

"I...don't remember who it was to be honest," he admits slowly and the kids groan in outrage, causing him to laugh. "But I do remember that it was fun."

A boy sitting beside Shinji tilts his head in curiosity. "Were you happy?"

The memories are faint now but Emu recalls warm hugs and playful kisses; of a love that simultaneously makes his heart ache in both sorrow and joy. It always strikes him as odd that he barely remembers the time or the person that invoked such irreplaceable and unrivalled feelings in him but for the life of him, Emu can't seem to remember no matter how hard he tries.

Despite that, the warmth and tenderness from that love remains with him even after all these years.

"Yes," he answers, wistful smile widening into a grin. "I was very happy."

"Do you really don't remember anything about that person at all, Emu-sensei?" Honoka asks, pouting at him.

Biting his lip, Emu hums in thought as his mind whirls. As always, any memory of his first love is as elusive as ever, flitting in and out of his reach like a shadow. Even so, there are certain facts about that person he could never forget.

"I remember that my first love was someone I trust unconditionally. Not to mentioned very playful and loved games just as much as I do," he begins, eyes softening in remembrance. "Tall, had soft curly hair and an impish grin too."

Tsuchiya giggles. "Must've been a mischievous one."

_Can't catch me, Emu~!_

"That's an understatement," he says with a snort.

Shinji pokes his knee. "Doncha wanna find that person, Houjou-sensei?"

It's not a thought he entertains that often; not when everytime he tried to dig deep into his memories, he was left dizzy and at times, even in pain from a headache (oddly, not unlike when he uses the Double X gashat now that he thinks about it). The effect worried him, of course, but every doctor he went to see couldn't find anything wrong with him despite Emu not remembering someone so important in his life. The closest diagnosis anyone could give him was that it might be a trauma that's causing him to forget. It's a painful thought. Whatever happened to him or the person who had his heart so thoroughly is something that's currently beyond his reach.

But he'd be lying if he says that he hasn't tried to still look for clues all these years.

"More than anything," he admits, mouth twisting a bit mournfully.

Honoka frowns, the child's empathy picking up his sadness and shares it with him. "You miss this person."

Emu nods. "Very much."

"Do you still love that person?"

Emu breathes out a laugh. "I don't think I ever stopped to be honest."

"Even though you don't remember?" Tsuchiya asks, something like disappointment flickering across her eyes.

He nods, firm. "Even so."

Tsuchiya nods before she claps her hands together. "Alright, kids! Time to go back to your rooms now!"

"Eeeeehhhh...!"

Snickering at the annoyed faces the children are making, Emu stands up and stretches his arms above his head.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Startled, he grabs his stethoscope and checks the map for the CR call. Once he confirms the location, he gives a quick goodbye to the kids and informs his colleagues of the emergency before sprinting out of the ward.

What follows soon after is a whirlwind of incidents _—_ starting with another painful headache after using Double X for the game disease operation and subsequent confrontation with Hiiro about whatever he and Taiga are hiding from him, to Tsukuru being infected with the Motors virus by a vengeful Dan Kuroto and ending with a revelation that he never thought possible.

"Houjou Emu!" Genm grins, cruel and sadistic. "You are the very first human to be infected by the Bugster virus— Patient Zero!"

Just like that, something snaps, and as though in defiance with how reality has decreed things to be, Emu suddenly bursts out into data. He's deaf to the worried shouts and the maniacal laughter _—_ only hearing the blood pulsing in his ears from the thundering of his heart. Lit up in bright yellow, pixels as it spill out from every bit and surface of Emu; as if it'd been waiting and saved up all of these years for the chance to finally show the world of what is within him.

Something screams. Emu doesn't know if it's him or the bugster inside of him that's making such a blood curdling noise that fills his ears _—_ what he _does_ know is that he's scared and in pain and he just wants everything to please **_stop_**.

An endless void threatens to consume him; grasping with greedy fingers at his feeble core. He tries to fight the finality, of the end but it hurts and he's getting so tired…

But then, a spark and something envelopes him; cradles him with warmth and tenderness that almost feels familiar. All at once, his soul sings and weeps. Emu gasps and it's as if there's a duality to him and yet not _—_ like there's no end and no beginning. The warmth touches him and he keens, curls in onto himself as something beyond his very identity bursts opened, until a voice that's achingly familiar yet _not_ echoes within like a beacon; a homecoming to his weary soul.

_Let's play, M~!_

_'What...?'_ Emu thinks through the haze, as the darkness closes in on him. _'Who...?'_

 _'Me,'_ the voice singsongs, insidious with dark mischief. _'You.'_

There's a sense of arms wrapping around him in an embrace before life is breathed into him by a warm, familiar mouth against his own.

Surprised, he unconsciously holds onto broad shoulders and lets out a tremulous sigh; mouth moving on its own as he kisses back.

Something sinister and warm and dark and safe curls around him.

_And now, finally, there is only—_

The nothingness, the absence of pain, but most of all, this sense of _belonging_ and _home_ , is the best thing he's ever felt in a very long time.

**_Us._ **

Emu falls and goes under.


	2. You're the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being in M's body again is...weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in Episode 19

Being in M's body again is...weird.

When he woke up in CR, he didn't expect to do much of anything besides play video games until his former host recovers enough to wake up. He sure as hell can do without all the nagging and the lecturing about the patients and all of that crap though. Like seriously, who cares? Parad just wants to play games with M. However...the only problem with _that_ plan is that M is currently out cold and Parad is left with doctor duties. Yuck.

Yeah, a big _hell no_ to that.

So while Brave and Poppy run around to figure out the Gutton problem, he goes to a nice private corner in the hospital courtyard to beat M's high score on his console.

"Houjou-sensei!"

Yelping at the sudden pain in his ear, Parad looks up to find a nurse that looks to be around in her 30's scowling down at him; fingers twisting his ear in a scolding grip. While the woman is nothing impressive in terms of stature or height, somehow he feels a bit cowed.

...only just a bit.

"Um..." Right, he's M at the moment. "Yeah?"

If anything, his attempt at innocence seems to annoy the nurse further. "I've been looking all over for you. Not only you're incredibly late, you have the nerve to slack off! Let's go, you have patients waiting!"

"Wait, hold on—!"

But the nurse ignores him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt collar to drag him away. Damn, are all nurses this strong?

The nurse leads them to an elevator, pressing a button that he assumes will lead them to...the paediatrics ward, is it? M works with kids, right? Wait. No, hold on. Why is he worried about that? He's only here to play games and keep M alive after Genm ran his stupid mouth about M being Patient Zero!

No more, no less.

"Shape up, Houjou-sensei," the nurse (her lanyard shows that her name is Yumita Ginko) scolds, shoving him into M's doctor coat with a tut. "Just because you're an intern, doesn't mean you can slack off. In fact, it's the exact opposite. Understand?"

Parad sighs. "Look, lady—"

"Do you," Yumita says menacingly with that impressive scowl of hers. "Understand?"

His mouth opens and closes a few times before he slumps with a sigh. "...Yes."

Humans are so _bossy_.

When they reach their floor, Parad stomps out of the elevator with a scowl while Yumita follows closely behind him like a goddamn hawk.

M owes him for this. _Big time._

 _'Think of it as one big game,'_ he silently reminds himself. _'Just a game you need to clear.'_

As he plunks himself on the chair of the consultation room, Parad looks around in idle interest before his attention is caught by the door opening to admit a teary eyed human child with her father in tow. Right. So, he's playing doctor— a paediatrican to be exact. It's just one big game that he has to clear. Still...when he looks down at the sad tiny human child, Parad has to resist bolting out of the room. He's never one to leave a game unfinished after all.

 _'Problem is...'_ He distantly notes Yumita the Nurse telling him the basic rundown about the child and tries to imitate M's sweet smile. It seems to work if the hesitant way the child smiles back. _'I have no effing clue what the rules of the game even **are**.'_

Repeat.

M _seriously_ owes him for this.

Nonetheless, he's grateful that M works with kids so it's easy to have a conversation with them and keeping them distracted. It's the medicine part that's a little difficult. Sure, he knows the jargon; knows what he should do to make a diagnosis but this is the first time he's doing something...well, something that's beyond being quarantined, playing video games and fighting. It's weird.

Although, now that he thinks about it, Parad has to wonder why he even _knows_ all of the medical crap. He doesn't remember playing any doctor games before; not even the board game ones. And as far as he knows, Genm co. hasn't developed any medical video games either. So...despite not knowing the rules of the game, how the hell does he know the signs of appendicitis on the human child?

_"You busy?"_

_"Never for you~!"_

_A laugh; shy and fond. "Can you help me study?"_

_"You're still in high school and you're already looking over med journals?"_

_"Better be safe than sorry."_

"Houjou-sensei?" the nurse calls for him and he snaps out of his thoughts.

Parad blinks and comes back to himself. _'...what the hell was that?'_

Shaking his head, Parad nods and returns his attention back to the child (Ayumi, was it?) and tells the father what he needs to do and who they need to see. He rattles off prescriptions, writes it down (he has to switch to his right hand when he remembers that he's in M's body) and gives advice, watching distantly when the pair thank him with a bow (to M, really) before they leave.

All in a span of 3 minutes.

That's how long consultations are for each patient, right?

...Again, how the hell does he even _know_ that?

If he was in his own body right now, Parad is sure there'd be pixelated spirals floating above his head as he faceplants onto the table with a groan.

"Please tell me it's M's lunch break right now," he mumbles against the surface. "Or at least let me change the rules of the game. Shit."

A clipboard gently smacks him on the head and he finds Yumita the Nurse (is she M's supervisor?) pursing her lips with a warm glint in her eyes.

"I'm calling in the next patient, so please sit up properly."

Letting out a whine, he peels himself off from the table when Yumita gives him that stern glare again. Sighing, he crosses his arms with a pout before it turns into a scowl when the human has the gall to laugh at his plight.

"Now, don't be like that." Hand on the door handle, Yumita lightens her expression as she gestures at the clock. "One more hour and then you can have your lunch break."

An hour!?

He has to play this confusing game for an hour!?

Before he can protest, the door slides opened to admit the next human child and any complaints die in his throat at the misery on the brat's face.

...oh, fine.

He _is_ one half of Genius Gamer M, after all. And he sure as hell ain't gonna let a game go unfinished.

 _'Besides.'_ Cracking his knuckles, Parad smiles down at the tiny human and raises a hand for a high five— smiling triumphantly when it's returned. _'The more challenging a game is, the better.'_

The minutes tick by slowly but he grits his teeth and focuses on the game. Considering he's playing doctor, Parad isn't actually sure what his score is for all of the diagnosis he makes but he's not too worried since he feels the thread of M's consciousness and memories guiding the score. If he made a wrong diagnosis, M's body would've reacted some way or another by now so as far Parad is concerned, he's clearing the game just fine.

Once the hour is up and he waves goodbye to the last brat of the day, Parad quickly shucks out of the doctor's coat and into M's civvies jacket. He then quietly slinks out of the room before anyone else from the hospital tries to stop him for M's intern duties. It's break time and after the onslaught of patients, he can finally sit back, relax and enjoy his game. And if people knows what's best for them, they better not stop him lest they want to face a very annoyed bugster.

"Firsts things first, though," he mutters, shoving his hands into the jacket pockets as his stomach grumbles.

Prowling down the halls, he decides to make a quick stop at the hospital cafeteria to grab some lunch. Can't have M passing out before they can play the games Parad has in stored for them. But still, why do humans have to eat so often? It'd be easier to just nibble on some electricity and they'd be good for almost a whole day! Ugh.

When he reaches the cafeteria entrance, Parad has to blink a few times when he sees the sudden splash of reds and pinks amongst the sterile white of the hospital. Stepping closer to the decorations, his brows furrow when he catches sight of the fancy writings.

"Huh, is it Valentine's day already?"

...wait.

"Valentine's day!?" Parad exclaims in shock, surprising the people about to enter the cafeteria. Quickly, he grabs onto a passing technician. "Is today the 14th already?"

The technician blinks at him in surprised and Parad has to shake the man until he responds. "Y-yes, it is."

"As in, _Valentine's day!?_ "

"...Yes?"

Parad lets go of the human and musses up his hair. "Shit!"

Sprinting down the hall, Parad leaves behind confused humans in his wake as he steps out of the hospital.

He didn't expect that both he and M had slept through the whole day after Genm ran his mouth. Argh, nevermind! All he needs to do now is to find the closest shop and get what he needs.

_"Let's share our chocolates."_

_"Eh?"_

_"Our honmei choco. If it's okay with you, maybe we can go choose our chocolates together? Maybe...even do the same thing for White Day too?"_

_"Our own tradition, huh?" Smiling lips against his own in a kiss. "I'd love that, Parad."_

Shaking his head to banish those voices, he scrounges the aisles before letting out a sigh of relief when he spots the familiar box of Meiji Strawberry Chocolates. Grabbing two big boxes, he makes his way to the front and shoves them to the cashier.

"Can you gift wrap one of them?" When the cashier continues to stare at him in wide eyed shock, he lets out a sigh and grits out. "Please."

Right, manners.

Once done with his purchase, Parad turns to a secluded corner and teleports back to the hospital courtyard. He almost stumbles into a tree when he remembers at the last minute that he's not in his own body right now. Despite M being his former host, Parad forgets that humans usually can't teleport. When he feels the dizziness finally fading away, he plunks himself down onto the bench with a sigh.

Taking out the wrapped box, he fishes out a pen from inside of M's jacket (does he carry around pens even in his civvies?) and is about to write on the small card, pauses then switches to his right hand (again). Once done, he caps the pen and grins in satisfaction.

**Happy Valentine's day, Emu~!**

"...hold on." Staring at the box in dawning horror, Parad looks at his hands then back at the box. "Did I just bought _Valentine's day chocolates_ for _M_?" Then he squints at the message he wrote for the doctor. "And why did I write 'Emu'? I call him M, don't I?"

 _'Am I going crazy?'_ Parad wonders, feeling a sharp sting of longing in where his heart should be. _'First, it was those voices and now this? What the hell is going on with me today?'_

"Emu!"

Parad hastily shoves the box inside a jacket pocket and blinks up in surprise as Poppy in her human guise rushes up to him.

Once she's in front of him, Poppy sighs with her hands on her hips. "You're not supposed to be out of CR in your condition right now, Emu."

"...I got bored." Parad clears his throat. "Didja ya find Gutton?"

"Ah!" Grabbing his wrist, Poppy drags him out of the courtyard in a panic. "That's why I've been looking for you! We have to go help Hiiro!"

Things are a bit of a whirlwind after that. He fights against the bugster soldiers Genm spams out, witnesses as Brave made a risky move of not only obtaining the level 50 gashat for Taddle Fantasy but actually overcame its influence and made it his own.

"Don't lump me together with that intern," Brave grounds out, fighting against Taddle Fantasy's corrupting influence and turns to Genm. "I am...the best doctor in the world!"

In the guise of Ex-Aid, he watches; curious despite himself as Brave struggles to stand tall.

"There's nothing that can stop me." Brave raises a trembling fist. "I have the willpower to fulfill my duty!"

Parad shifts, head tilting to the side. "Willpower...?"

"That's what it takes to be a doctor," Brave exclaims, shaking off the last vestige of Taddle Fantasy's corruption with a swish of his mantle. "To be trusted with someone's life!"

Blinking, he stares unseeingly ahead. "A doctor, huh?"

Something about Brave's words strike a chord within him and Parad feels M's consciousness stirring; rising to the forefront. Wincing, he's brought to his knees and clutches his head as those voices (His? M's? Both?) return; ringing inside his mind like a deafening chime.

_"You want to be a paediatrican?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Then...I have no doubt that you're gonna be the best there is, Emu."_

Closing his eyes, they fall to the ground as Ex-Aid's transformation fades away before Parad extricates himself from M to a nearby pillar; out of sight from those of CR. Gasping, he gives himself some time to recover before climbing back to his feet and watches the fight between Brave and Genm from a safe distance; smirking in satisfaction when Genm hightails on out after the beat down Brave dished out on him. He even claps in appreciation for Brave's efforts because c'mon! Seeing Genm getting his ass handed over to him will never get old.

Parad stays where he is though, despite the battle being long over. His gaze settles and lingers on M's profile as the rays of the setting sun wrap around the doctor like a halo. It's picturesque yet breathtakingly real and his fingers twitch as if he wants to reach on over to the doctor— holds him close and never let go.

Pain flares as Parad smacks the back of his head against the pillar he's leaning on.

_'What the actual fuck is wrong with me today? Seriously.'_

Unbidden, his attention returns back to M and he feels the corner of his mouth twitches up into a smile. "Okaeri, M."

Pushing himself away from the pillar, Parad turns away and walks on into the shadows. Shoving his hands into his pockets, his steps falter when fingers brush against a box; bare and unwrapped. Parad takes it out, stares at the box of strawberry chocolates for a long moment before tearing it opened. He then flicks a piece of chocolate into the air and catches it with his mouth; crunching down and relishing in the burst of flavour that explodes underneath his tongue.

The chocolate tastes sweet, tangy and strangely familiar. It's delicious; something that melts in his mouth and he really likes it so then—

Why is he crying?

Heart hurting from a fierce sort of longing that he can't explain, Parad clutches his chest and sways to the side to slide down against a wall before quickly smacking a hand against his mouth to stop a sob from breaking past his lips. Screwing his eyes shut, Parad bows his head as his shoulders tremble; helpless to stop the tears as they continue to stream down his face even as he clutches the box close to him.

_"Happy Valentine's day, Parad."_

* * *

When he finally returns to his apartment, Emu leans back against the door with a weary sigh. Eyes closed, he takes a breath and shrugs out of his jacket.

_Thud._

Surprised, he looks down to find a box wrapped in simple magenta wrapping paper by the genkan floor. Confused, he picks it up and turns it over, finding a small card tapped to the front and flicks it opened.

**Happy Valentine's day, Emu~!**

Brows almost hitting his hairline, Emu gapes at the card and tries to place the handwriting. It kinda looks like his but at the same time, _not_ — more crooked; as if whoever wrote it was using their non-dominant hand.

But who would give him chocolate? More so when there's really no chance for anyone to give it to him considering all that's happened throughout the day. Emu bites his lip. Tapping the corner of the box, he then makes his decision before he carefully tears the wrapping away to reveal a box of Meiji Strawberry Chocolates and wow, that's his favourite flavour—

His heart almost stops.

It's his favourite flavour. Emu has never told anyone how he likes his chocolates; he's never even mentioned what sort of dessert he prefers. So why is it he's holding a box of what seems to be honmei choco with his favourite flavour?

Brows furrowing, he checks the box and tries to find any clues as to who is it from beyond a hastily written note. The only thing he knows for certain is that it seems that it was bought very recently if the expiry date is anything to go by. Slowly, hesitantly, Emu takes a piece and puts it in his mouth; tasting the sweet, tangy flavour of chocolate— almost salty for some reason?

...Or maybe that's because of the tears streaming down his face.

"Eh?" Touching his cheek and finding it wet, Emu scrubs his eyes to stop the tears to no avail. "W-why am I crying?"

His heart hurts and there's this desperate sense of longing that he can't explain as Emu slides down against the door and crumples in a heap by the genkan. Breathing heavily, Emu pulls his knees up to his chest. Arms wind around his legs before he buries his face into his knees and sobs.

All the while, he holds the box of strawberry chocolates close to him; bittersweet and precious.

_"Please be my Valentine?_

_"Only if you'd be mine."_

_"Always."_


	3. You're the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before everything goes to hell, Emu found out that there's more to Parad than he initially thought. Knowing that though doesn't stop his heart from breaking and weeping bitter tears as Chronicle begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SET IN EPISODE: Pre-22, 23, 25, 26, and 27  
> _______________
> 
> NOTE: If you'd like, come scream at me on Tumblr or Twitter (under the name: writing-in-sin on Tumblr and Writing in SIN on Twitter)

* * *

**YOU'RE THE NIGHT**

* * *

After the whole ordeal with the reveal of Kamen Rider Chronicle and filling in Det. Uesugi all he needs to know so as to help him with the manhunt for Dan Kuroto, the rest of the week feels thankfully calmer. True, he's currently running around to find the Revol bugster that broke out of his recent patient but he'd rather have this kind of operation than the nightmare Emu can feel brewing at the horizon.

Hands on his knees, Emu huffs and wipes away the sweat away from his chin before looking around the empty park.

"Three things and I'll tell you where the bugster is."

Letting out a shout of surprise at the sudden voice directly behind him, Emu turns around to see Parad lounging by the fountains with a cheshire grin on his face.

"...what?"

Parad sits up and folds his legs, chin resting on a palm. "You heard me, M. Do three things for me and I'll tell you where dear old Revol the Bugster is."

He eyes the grinning bugster in suspicion, weighing his options. Considering who he's talking to, Emu really shouldn't trust what the bugster is saying but since a patient's life is at stake...

"And what are these three things?"

Eyes lighting up, Parad hops to his feet and bounds up to him. "First is 15 minutes of your time."

"Five," he counters with a stern glare. "A patient's life is in danger so, 5 minutes." When Parad opens his mouth to protest, Emu firmly shakes his head. "Take it or leave it."

"Fine," Parad relents with a pout and Emu must be more tired than he thought because the bugster looks unfairly adorable that way. He's brought out of his thoughts when Parad pokes his nose. "Second is that you'll treat me for a snack and the third...well, I'll tell you once you've done the first two."

Emu folds his arms, frowning. "And I'll have your word about the patient?"

"Yup!"

Reminding himself that it's for the patient currently lying prone in CR (and maybe to also sate his odd curiosity about Parad), Emu sighs and unfolds his arms. "...alright, I'll do it."

"Awesome!" Parad cheers and grabs his hand. "C'mon, I know just the place for a snack."

Before he can protest, he's suddenly transported to a hidden shade near Asakusa. Blinking at the change of location, he's dragged to a modest stall selling traditional Japanese sweets and blinks at the familiar array of dusty and generously large white desserts.

"Strawberry daifuku?" Looking up to gape at Parad, he points to the sweets and wonders how in the world does this bugster know that Emu loves strawberry daifuku. "How did you...?"

When he trails off, Parad tilts his head in confusion.

"How did I what?"

"Ah...no, it's nothing." Clearing his throat, Emu turns to the vendor. "Two please."

Once they sit down on a bench under a tree and hidden from prying eyes, Emu takes a careful bite of his treat and relishes at the familiar taste of strawberry, anko and mochi with a quiet moan of appreciation. He's startled though when it's echoed by the person sitting beside him and for a moment, he and Parad just give each other a wide eyed stare.

A beat before Emu has to quickly look away as they both burst into giggles. Doesn't help that he also got a glimpse of the dusty mess on Parad's face before he turned away.

"So," Emu begins once he has his laughter under control and finishes his treat. Emu then gives Parad a careful glance. "What's the third thing, Parad?"

Pouting, the bugster glances over to him. "Aw, c'mon, it's White Day! Live a little!"

"Parad," he intones, firm.

Parad gives him a baleful glare as he chews the last of his daifuku. "You're seriously no fun, M."

Glaring at the bugster, Emu makes a show of getting up to leave which causes Parad to wave his hands about.

"Okay, okay!"

When he sits back down, Emu raises a brow at the sulking bugster and waits.

"Finally..." Ruffling his curls, Parad shifts in seat and for some reason looks incredibly nervous. "The third one is..."

When the bugster trails off, Emu nudges their knees together and prompts. "Is...?"

Letting out a sigh, Parad leans forward with determination in his eyes until they're mere inches apart. "Kiss me."

Emu almost falls out of his seat at that. "What!?"

"You heard me," Parad grumbles out, red dusting his cheeks and goodness, the bugster has no right to look so charming.

Shaking his head in confusion, he gapes at Parad. "Why would you—"

"Time's running out," Parad interrupts with a smirk, glancing pointedly at his game scope. "Unless you're not up to the challenge?"

Emu scowls, indignant. "This isn't a _game_ , Parad."

" _Everything_ is a game!" Parad counters before gripping the bench and leans close. "C'mon, I'm curious."

Furrowing his brows, Emu stares at the bugster and feels both flustered and mystified at the strange request. "...Why me?"

"Exactly!" Parad exclaims with a snap of his fingers. "Why you? That's what I'm curious about."

Glancing between his game scope and the odd bugster in front of him, Emu bites his lip. "I still have your word?"

"Yeah, yeah." Parad waves a hand with a careless shrug. "I'll tell you where the bugster is and you can save your patient."

Frowning at Parad's blithe response, he turns away to think. The longer he stays, the more pain it'll cause his patient and knowing that, Emu makes his decision with a reluctant nod. "Alright."

No sooner than the word leaves his mouth, Parad surges forward and catches his lips into a dizzying opened mouth kiss.

His heart stutters as something inside him unfurls in relief and without conscious effort, Emu wraps his arms around Parad's back. One hand grips the fabric of the black coat in a white knuckled grip while the other threads itself through the silky soft curls at the nape of the bugster's neck.

Arms wrap around his shoulders, holding Emu close for a brief moment before sliding down his body in a sensuous grip that has all other thoughts flying out of Emu's head. His body pressing against a warm chest, Emu relaxes into the embrace and feels Parad tightens his grip, pulling Emu impossibly closer until he can feel the beat of the other's heart pressed against his own chest.

Quickly the kiss deepens and Emu parts his lips eagerly, allowing the bugster to take control and feels his body become pliant under Parad's strangely familiar touch. Distantly from the back of his mind, Emu recalls that he hasn't kissed anyone in years; too busy with med school as he was that Emu never had much time to do anything. And yet...these sensations and feelings that are suddenly coursing through him are too familiar for him to be coincidental. However, it's _because_ of how familiar it is, Emu can't bring himself to care at the moment.

And honestly, it's hard _to_ care when Parad's body moulds perfectly with his and the kiss is hot and deep and perfect and for this instant, nothing else seems to matter.

_"Best. Kiss. Ever."_

_A laugh spills out of impish lips. "Wouldn't that be hard to decide since neither of us have kissed anyone before?"_

_"Doesn't matter." A slick slide of lips and tongues; sweet and spicy to the taste. "No one will ever compare to **you**."_

Suddenly Emu is on his back, feeling the sun warm wood underneath him before Parad's warm weight hovers over him and kissing him with a desperate passion until Emu feels like he can hardly breathe. Shoes scrabble against the bench as Emu tries to adjust his position for better access and sighs into the kiss as a hand slides underneath his shirt, leaving trails of sparks wherever it touched.

Emu gasps at the unexpected sensation and he can feel the lips that are pressed against his own break into a smirk, can almost feel the bugster's amusement rolling off him in waves. Nipping the bugster's bottom lip in retaliation, Parad grunts then snickers into his mouth before pulling back. In the haze of the moment, Emu barely registers that his eyes are still closed but when Parad's hand cradles gently on the side of his face, Emu allows them to flutter open to take in the vision above him.

Parad kneels over him, eyes full of fiery passion so intense that Emu can feel it searing into his skin.

"Seriously," Parad whispers in the space between them, brows furrowing and stroking a finger lightly over Emu's lips. "What _is_ it about you, M?"

Emu swallows, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. "...I could ask you the same thing, Parad." When he finally feels like his chest won't collapse in on itself, Emu taps his game scope and tries to look stern despite the flush he can still feel on his face. "Well?"

Lips thinning, the bugster's eyes take on an almost predatory glint and for a brief moment, Emu thinks that Parad will ignore him and go back on his word.

He doesn't.

"A deal's a deal," Parad grumbles, resting his head on Emu's shoulder with a sigh. With a snap, pixels flare to life at the edge of Parad's fingers before they tap against his game scope. "There. You'll find Revol at this location."

A quick glance at the map shows him a red dot blinking at him. Relieved, he sits up and is about to run off, but...Emu can only take a few steps before he stops and, turns back to look at the pensive bugster sitting quietly on the bench.

For some reason, his heart clenches on how... _lonely_ Parad looks. Maybe it's the stress from the looming threat of Chronicle or it could be his desire to chase after the sweet and spicy taste underneath his tongue that leaves his heart aching with longing. Still, for whatever the reason may be, Emu finds himself walking back to Parad and before he can think too deeply about it, presses his mouth against impish lips; softer and slower than the kiss before.

When he pulls back, Emu sees the surprise on Parad's face before Emu turns tail and hurries to where he needs to be.

Despite the cool March wind nipping at his cheeks, the blush on Emu's face refuses to fade no matter how fast he runs.

* * *

**When you played that game, you were infected with the Bugster virus.**

* * *

The next time he's alone with Parad again is almost a week later; hours after Dan Kuroto escaped from CR and retook control of Genm Corporation.

Emu doesn't know why Parad is relaxing on his apartment balcony but somehow, the sight of the bugster loosens the tension that's been lining his shoulders from the horrid way his day ended. And that's not adding the harrowing revelation that it was Dan Kuroto who sent the original Bugster virus to infect him and subsequently turning Emu into Patient Zero.

Logically, he knows that there's a high chance that Parad is involved in helping Genm with his current plans but right now, Emu really can't bring himself to care. So, he slides the balcony door opened and shuffles to his bed to flop onto his back before Emu rubs his forehead when he feels a headache coming in.

Distantly, he can hear Parad sliding the door closed then, pads into his room before sitting gingerly beside his head.

"Thank you," he whispers in the oddly comfortable silence, wanting to think about something else than the trouble Genm is no doubt planning. "For before with Revol."

Parad shrugs, leaning back against his palms as they rest on the bed. "Like I said: A deal's a deal."

"Did you..." Clearing his throat, he feels heat rising to his cheeks. "Did you find out the reason why you wanted to kiss me?"

That head of soft curls shakes side to side as the bugster drawls out. "Nope~!"

"Oh."

Lolling his head to the side, Emu blinks up at the bugster and despite the lack of light, he can spot the frown on that impish mouth.

As if he can feel the weight of his stare, Parad's gaze slides to him and tilts his head in a gesture of thought before pixels dance across the bugsters fingers that soon brush against his forehead. Slowly but surely, Emu feels his headache ebbing away.

The relief is instant and he breathes out a sigh. "I didn't know you can do that."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Parad quips, an odd tone in his voice.

Emu turns to hide his face against Parad's thigh. "Seems like. Thank you, though."

"Hm." Parad shifts on the bed and taps his cheek. "M?"

Emu turns to find Parad leaning over him, their faces inches apart. "Yes?"

"Why did you kiss me that second time?" Parad asks, eyes curious and thoughtful.

Face blazing at the reminder, he shrugs and plays with his fingers. "...I don't know."

"Then..." Parad brushes his thumb against Emu's mouth, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Wanna try and find out?"

Emu hums and flicks his tongue over the skin. "Why?"

"Stress isn't good for you, M," Parad tells him, huffing out a laugh and reaching down tug at Emu's belt as he makes his intentions clear. "Not one bit."

A thrill of heat runs through him and Emu swallows at the sudden dryness in his mouth. Emu sits up and sends the bugster a questioning look. "You mean sex as stress relief."

"Yep." Parad crawls over to him, looking unfairly attractive in the moonlight as the bugster settles on his lap. "It'll be fun~!"

Emu glares at the bugster. "I won't use you, Parad— _especially_ not like that."

"I'm offering." When he only continues to glare, Parad sighs and loses the blithe attitude. The expression on the bugster's turns rueful and a touch fond for some reason as he nuzzles his face with Emu's. "I want to, M." Parad blinks at him underneath long lashes. "Can't we?"

Throat constricting, Emu feels his resolve wavering as he rests his hands on Parad's hips. "Have you ever been...?"

"Dunno," Parad says with a shrug, twining his arms around his shoulders.

Emu gapes at the bugster. "You _'don't know'?"_

"Memories of my past are hazy and confusing," Parad reveals as a brief look of sadness flits across his face, before he tilts his head with a thoughtful frown. "But I think I might have."

 _'Just like me,'_ he thinks distantly.

Ever since he woke up in the hospital after that Tekken tournament six years ago, his memories from before that time have always been hazy and filled with too many blanks that Emu can't explain no matter how much he tries.

"I see," he mutters after a beat of silence then, looks curiously at Parad. "Is this another way for you to figure out why I interest you?"

Parad licks his lips, humming with a pensive frown. "Sorta?" Then, the bugster grins at him and bumps their noses together. "Mostly, I just want you. Weird, huh?"

"Very weird," Emu agrees with a wry twist of his lips before he sighs and rests his forehead against Parad's. "Despite my better judgement, I want you too."

Emu can't explain it but despite how wrong it is to be so drawn to an enemy, having Parad with him just feels... _right_ , somehow.

Honestly, he's been trying to avoid Parad ever since he laid eyes on the tall bugster with the carefree grin. There's always a thrill running down his spine whenever he runs into the bugster and if it's just attraction or lust, Emu wouldn't be so conflicted. But ever since that kiss on White Day, he can't ignore that there's something about Parad that makes him feel at ease and safe despite the fact that they're enemies. He's tried to ignore it. Avoid it. Unfortunately, none of that has done him any good.

If anything, it made things _worse._

Headaches not unlike when he uses Double X came back with a vengeance, along with confusing nightmares and dreams that always left him with an aching heart. And that's not adding to the fact that he's been having too vivid wet dreams about Parad. Those are...yeah, those are something else— _especially_ when he barely had any wet dreams since high school.

_He's dangerous._

**He's safe.**

Avoiding his attraction to Parad hasn't done him any favours and he really, really wants Parad to be with him for just a little while longer. This sense of safety and belonging...Emu really wants to keep them (Parad) close to him.

So Emu takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Okay."

"Yeah?" Parad inquires, voice nothing above a whisper as tension bleeds out of his shoulders.

Emu nods and bites his lip. "I'm sorry for asking this but...can you help me forget today, please? Just for a little while."

"Believe me," Parad purrs out, reeling him close until their fronts are flushed together and leaving Emu's breath stuttering out of him. "With me around, you won't even have time to even _think_ about today."

_He's the enemy._

**He's not.**

Emu surges up and captures that sinful mouth into a searing kiss.

Hands clutch his shoulders like burning brands before one of Parad's hands moves to grip the back of his head, tightening in his hair. Parad kisses like he fights, with a burning intensity that consumes Emu completely, scorching into his soul. And he matches that intensity because Emu feels like he's on fire from the inside and he _wants_ this, more than he has ever wanted anything or anyone before and quite possibly ever will again.

_Who is he?_

**I know him.**

When they break apart, Emu sees how truly stunning the bugster is awashed in the silver moonlight; with his curls dishevelled and his lips a kiss bitten red, breath heaving in his chest. Parad gives him a feral smirk before he moves back in, capturing his mouth in another fierce kiss as they shed their clothes.

_Why?_

**Why not?**

Emu is well aware that he's letting his desires overrule the more rational part of his mind that's screaming at him that this is a horrible, awful idea and that he should stop right now before he does something that he'll really regret. But he doesn't stop. Doesn't even want to— not when he feels like missing pieces of himself are finally within reach.

Not when they're both naked and he's on his back, thrusting into Parad's tight heat as the bugster writhes and moans above him; dangerous and so gorgeous it hurts.

_This is wrong._

Parad raises himself up a little as he adjusts the angle, sinking back down deeper on Emu's length, setting up a steady rhythm and Emu lets out a broken moan at the feeling. When he feels a hand cupping around his face, Emu blinks up in a daze and sees Parad gazing down at him with eyes alight while running his thumb over the tender spot on Emu's flushed lips. They meet each other halfway, lips crashing in a deep kiss and panting into each other's mouths as they move, quickening their pace as they drive each other closer and closer to the edge.

His hands fly up to Parad's hips, digging his fingers in them so hard that it makes Emu wonder if it'll leave bruises blooming on the bugster's skin; a physical reminder of their two bodies locked together, perfectly in time and perfectly matched.

This surpasses even the heat of all of his wet dreams and despite the fact that there's still a part of him that's screaming at him that this is the most reckless, idiotic thing that he's ever done, Emu can't deny that this reality is so much more better than he ever could've imagined and everything else seems to pale in comparison— that this sense of belonging is rightfully _his._

**This is _right._**

They come apart as their combined orgasms tear through them and leaving them both shaking in its wake. Emu hears Parad gasping with his head pressed into Emu's shoulder while Emu has his own head thrown back, eyes staring sightlessly at the ceiling as he rides the high of his release.

Heart racing, Emu can feel the frantic thumps of Parad's heart against his chest. It's been a long, awful day and he's exhausted, wrung out and spent in a way that he never has before. Not even after his most gruelling of game operations.

Parad seems to be the same because he sinks bonelessly into him and Emu adjusts them until they're lying in a tangle of legs and sweat slicked skin. Parad groans and raises his head from Emu's shoulder and for a long moment, they stare at each other.

Dimly, he knows that they should clean off and remember the reality that they're on opposing sides. But instead, Emu finds himself meeting Parad halfway to exchange slow, sweet kisses that belies the reality that's waiting for them in the morning.

In the end, as they lie sated, Emu drifts off to sleep; lulled by the beating of a heart that perfectly matches his own.

* * *

**The loser has to get the ending they deserve.**

* * *

Things crash down almost in an instant.

Maybe it's karma but days after waking up alone to a still warm bed and even warmer pot of miso soup for breakfast, Emu is standing alone up on the hospital rooftop with tears streaming down his face. Bowing his head, he sobs at the lost of a life by the hands of the very person who shared his bed not two days ago.

There's a presence behind him and Emu doesn't need to turn around to know who it is.

"Why did you kill him?" Voice brittle with hurt and fists clenching at his sides, Emu snarls at the quiet bugster as he steps up to stand beside him. "Why did you kill Genm?"

Instead of looking smug like he did earlier in the day, Parad's face is carefully blank as he rests his arms on the railings. "Does it matter? He would've found a way to kill me once I rebel against him too much."

"You don't know that!" Emu shouts, whirling towards Parad.

Parad snorts. "I _do_ know, M. Genm has never hesitated on killing his own kind." The bugster glances at him then, away with a scowl. "And he sure as hell made it clear that a bugster's life don't amount to anything."

"That doesn't justify _killing_ him, Parad."

Glaring, the bugster marches up to him with a glare. "Why are you so upset? The one who's been terrorising you is _dead_. Hell, you could say that I did you a favour!" When Emu only stands his ground with a snarl, Parad falters and sighs. "You're not naive, M. If left alive, Genm would've killed more people and you know it."

"You—!" He pulls his hand back, curling it into a fist. "Don't you dare...!"

Parad easily catches his fist in his palm, grips it tight and drags him forward until their faces are inches apart. "You can't save everyone, M."

"I _know_ that." When he tries to take his hand back, Parad only grips it tighter and Emu glares up at the bugster. "But what you did still doesn't make it okay. I reprogrammed his DNA—"

Parad barks out a mocking cackle, lips curling up in disdain. "He would've found a way around it just like when he duped you by infecting himself with Charlie to get away from the Ministry."

"...I know." Shoulders slumping, Emu looks away and stares unseeingly at the setting sun. "I _know_ that, okay?"

Sighing, the bugster lets him go. "Then why?"

"He was already down and beaten. There was no need to _kill_ him." Despite being free, he doesn't move away from Parad. It's frustrating and mortifying but Emu still finds Parad's presence stupidly comforting. "True, it was still a possibility that he'd find a way out but _we_ would've found a way to make sure Genm would pay for his sins." Raising his head, Emu narrows his eyes into a stern glare. "A life is still a _life_ ; even one as horrid as Genm. Even if I wasn't a doctor, as a person, it's not my place or right to take away someone's life."

Parad opens his mouth, a flurry of emotions in his eyes before he closes it and turns away. Ruffling his curls, Parad slumps over the railing with a slew of curses in a multitude of languages.

When it appears that Parad has exhausted his vocabulary, Emu walks on over to rest beside the bugster. Sighing, he rubs his face and glances over at the scowling bugster. "...Did you enjoy it?"

"I thought I would," Parad says eventually after a moment of silence before sighing, weary. "But, honestly? I just feel tired."

For a long, weighing moment, he looks at Parad. "Chronicle...what are you planning to do with it?"

"You'll see soon enough," Parad murmurs, something dark and sinister in his eyes.

Anger coursing through him, Emu turns on his heel as his eyes burn with fresh tears and he's about to walk away before yelping in surprise when Parad reappears in front of him. He freezes when Parad dips his head down to softly and slowly lick the tear tracks on his face. The action is almost feline-like and so unexpected that Emu stays still. After a beat, Emu swallows with some difficulty and raises his head to look at Parad under his lashes, resenting the fact that no matter how angry he is at the moment, Parad can still make him melt with his touch.

Parad is like a fever he can't shake.

Lips brush up to kiss his eyelids before trailing back down his cheeks and when that tongue darts to his lips, Emu catches it with his mouth. As Parad tilts his head to deepen the kiss, Emu sighs into the bugster's mouth before inhaling sharply and quickly steps away when he realises what he's doing.

"Go," he croaks out, shoulders slumping. "Please...just _**go** , _Parad."

As the last rays of sunlight fade underneath the dark horizon, Emu hears a whisper of a sigh before Parad disappears into the night.

* * *

**Welcome to the ultimate Game World.**

* * *

Too angry. Too horrified. Too hurt— Emu goes after Parad like a man possessed.

"You bastard!" Emu grits out, dodging a punch. "Of all the— you want to use Chronicle to eliminate the human race!?"

Parad materialises pixelated puzzle pieces in front of him. "For me, it's more like a culling actually. Well..." Pausing, the bugster tilts his head then, sends those pieces towards him with a flick of his wrist. "A statement to be more precise."

_Monster._

**This isn't who he really is.**

Flipping over a crate, Emu uses it as a shield to stave off the onslaught. Materialising his Key Slasher, Emu rolls out of his hiding spot and controls the Maximum body to attack Parad from behind. Unfortunately, the bugster cartwheels out of Maximum's way but since Emu expected that possibility, he slides the Key Slasher to the ground and releases a wave of energy towards Parad.

The bugster grunts, digging his heels to stop himself from flying at the force of the attack.

Seeing an opening, Emu ducks under Alhambra's lightning attack as he and Hiiro pass by him to sprint at Parad and swings his weapon with a cry. When Parad catches the Key Slasher between his hands, Emu pushes further and steps close.

"Why?" Without permission, hurt and pain colour his voice as Emu stares up at Parad. "Why!?"

_He needs to be erased._

**Save him.**

Despite the battle going on around them, he can see Parad faltering and at that moment, Emu wishes he can see the bugster's face behind the Rider helmet.

"Unlike you, I have an endangered race to protect," Parad whispers furiously to him, taking a step. "Because you humans sure as hell ain't gonna let us live."

Grunting as they stand at a standstill, Emu shakes his head. "You kill your hosts and terrorise us. How did you expect us to react?"

"Didn't have a _choice_ ," Parad snarls out. "Genm left the bugsters programmed to kill their hosts instead of healing that part of their biology."

His brows furrow. "What. Why?"

"Dunno," Parad drawls out, disappearing as his voice echoes around Emu. "But he always seemed desperate— like he was trying to get something or _someone_ back."

When the bugster materialises behind him, Emu is quick to drop to the floor in a tight roll to avoid the swift jab aimed at his back, springing up a few feet away.

"Does it have to be this way?" Launching himself at the bugster, he delivers a swift swipe with the Key Slasher. "This revenge against the whole human race?"

Parad blocks with his forearm. "The Bugsters were created as tools by humans— never given the chance to even live before all of you decided that we should be dead." Pushing him away, Parad rounds a kick to his head that Emu barely dodges in time. "Why is our lives less than yours?" Pressing his advantage, Parad darts in close to trap Emu into a chokehold and whispers viciously to his ear. "Because we're originally made of data and RNA? Because we're _viruses?"_

"That's not true," he gasps out, hands scrabbling against Parad's forearm.

"I don't believe you." Parad drags him up and rests his helmet against his. "And even if I did, what can one human do? You're all set in your belief that bugsters are a danger to humanity— that we're monsters for just wanting to be more than your playthings and tools."

Clenching his jaw, Emu sharply elbows Parad in the stomach. Twisting out of Parad's hold when the bugster hisses in pain, Emu quickly sends Maximum to bulldoze the bugster from the side. Thrown from the force of the impact, Parad twists mid-air to land in a crouch before rising to his feet.

"But let me ask you this, M." Parad shakes his head with a sardonic laugh, arms thrown to the side. "Did you ever think that to us Bugsters, you Humans are the real monsters?"

Temporarily stunned, Emu gasps in pain when Parad takes advantage of his lapse and glides across to deliver a punch to his stomach then, delivers a chop to the back of his neck. Tumbling to the ground, Emu pushes off with his foot to fall back into Maximum. Quickly, he sends a number of energy blasts to Parad and feels relieved when the attacks landed.

"Now I'm getting worked up!" Parad bites out when he recovers before twisting the dial of his gashat and readies to change into Knockout Fighter. "Dai-henshin."

Gritting his teeth, Emu sends another onslaught of energy blasts and curses under his breath when the transformation sequence acts as a shield. Stumbling back when flames dive towards him, Emu jumps out of Maximum and catches Parad's arm as he ducks close and twisting it, throwing the other Rider off-balance.

Parad immediately changes course and tries to compensate, rotating quickly in the direction where Emu's grip will be the weakest and most awkward to maintain.

"What will killing us do?" Emu demands, struggling against Parad's hold. It's irritating how good of a fighter Parad is because despite the fact that Emu is on LVL99, he's still struggling against the LVL50 bugster. "How will it benefit you in any way except make us fear and hate you?"

Laughter; low and pained fills the air as Parad grips his neck. "At least you humans will finally look at us." Leaning close, Parad tilts his head to the side as his voice lowers in a dangerous growl. "Tell me...do I have your attention now, M?"

"My _attention?"_ Grunting from the strain, Emu snarls at the bugster. "You'll wish that you _didn't,_ Parad."

Parad cackles. "Oh, I seriously doubt _that,_ M."

However, before the bugster can press his advantage, a shockwave behind them causes Parad to stumble.

A quick glance behind him shows Emu that to his relief, Alhambra and Salty are soundly defeated by the combined Critical Strikes from Hiiro and Taiga. Taking a deep breath, he dislodges from Parad and jumps back into Maximum. Not wanting to waste his chance, Emu delivers a swift punch and throws the bugster right off his feet.

Parad rolls with it, using the momentum to tumble across the ground and recovers enough to come up on one knee.

"Parad!" Emu shouts out, readying his Key Slasher. "I _will_ defeat you!"

"MAXIMUM MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH!" the Key Slasher announces and he lets the attack fly. However, the moment he does, Emu suddenly feels pain shooting up from his heart and head before his vision doubles and he's plunged into a flurry of images flashing across his mind—

_A cold slab underneath his back._

_Excruciating pain and terror._

_A hand clutching his own before they're torn apart._

_Wires crossed inside his brain before his mind screams and heart bleeds._

_"We'll be okay, Emu." Arms wrap around him before his mouth is caught in a kiss, terrified and desperate and wet with both of their tears. "Someday, we'll find our way back to each other."_

— and with a scream, Emu steers the finisher away at the very last second.

When Parad's transformation fades and he falls to his knees, Emu pants as they both stare at each other across the flames. He stares, frozen and rooted to his spot as Parad breathes heavily before his mouth breaks into a twisted grin. Despite the flame flickering between them, Emu can somehow make out the words that falls out of Parad's lips before the bugster fades away in multi-coloured pixels.

"You really are the best, M."

Shoulders slumping, Emu lets the transformation fade away and falls to the ground. Curling into a ball, Emu presses his head to the ground with a whimper as his heart shudders.

* * *

**People hate what they really love! Hate is also a part of love!**

* * *

"You're back late."

Steps faltering, Emu glances to the side and finds Parad sitting on one of the swings in the park nearby his apartment. At this point, he's not even surprised anymore at Parad's penchant to appear out of nowhere.

The bugster's words are said softly as Parad stares up at the full moon, a foot on the ground to gently move him back and forth. It's frustrating and confusing how fitting the night is for Parad. The danger that the night invokes is the most obvious but, so is the dark comfort. And even after all is said and done, Emu still finds himself attracted to that darkness; sinister yet comforting. Dangerous yet safe.

A paradox.

It makes Emu wonder.

"Lovelica caused a lot of trouble for us today," Emu answers just as softly, walking over to plunk himself down onto the empty swing besides Parad. "I supposed I shouldn't be surprise that Amagasaki-san was a bugster all along."

Parad snickers, lips quirking up in a faint smirk. "Bet he gave all of you a headache with the whole Otome game rules, huh?"

"It was pretty hard to fight those maid bugsters," he agrees with a groan, chin in hand. "And our attacks didn't work at all on Lovelica."

"I bet."

The silence between them is almost comfortable and Emu stares at the slide in front of him without seeing it. The anger is still there and so is the hurt, but they're banked in the calm and quiet of the night. Or early morning, since it's way past midnight. And strange as it seems, Emu finds that early hours like these have always been a relaxing time for him.

It's in these secret hours that Emu feels the most clear headed; like a haze has lightened.

Like his mind and heart are his again.

Emu isn't sure why he's here talking to Parad like the bugster isn't the one who started Chronicle or is currently the source of so much pain and fear. Considering the dire situation they're in, Emu should use this opportunity to bring Parad down. But Emu isn't stupid. He sincerely doubts that Parad has his guard down despite the calm and quiet.

Still, why is he here? Why is he leaning into the warmth of the body inches away from him even after the vehement promise to defeat Parad for not only starting Kamen Rider Chronicle but for also taking away Poppy; the closest friend Emu ever has in years? Emu has his gashats with him and with the right combo, Emu can figure out a way to bring the bugster down once for all.

And yet...

For some reason, Emu can't really bring himself to do so. Just like how a week ago, Emu steered the Critical Finish away from Parad at very the last minute.

A passionate one night stand shouldn't make him hesitate this much.

"Who are you, Parad?" he asks, voice nothing more than a whisper.

Parad breathes out a sigh and when Emu glances at him, the bugster looks sad and weary. "You already know, M."

"No, I don't," he refutes, reaching out to tuck a stray curl behind Parad's ear before his fingers linger. Emu swallows and feels his lips go numb. "Please don't do this."

Parad's face crumples as his shoulders slump. "I..." When the bugster turns to look at him, Emu is startled to see a war of emotions in Parad's dark eyes. Despite the soft lighting of the moon, Emu can clearly see that pain and desperation are the most prominent of them all. "I can't stop, M."

Emu's breath hitches when he picks up something like a plea underneath Parad's voice— as if he's begging to be stopped.

But why? Isn't the Chronicle what Parad wants?

_Need to **free** ourselves. This cycle is **killing** us._

"Then I'll stop you," Emu swears, words tumbling out before he realises it.

Relief; startling and unexpected washes over Parad and the bugster leans into his touch. "Will you kill me then?"

_**NO!** _

Breath stuttering, Emu feels his heart plummeting down to the ground.

As if realising what he just said, Parad jerks back with a curse. The bugster ducks his head as trembling hands clutch the chains of the swing.

Emu physically can't breathe. There simply isn't enough oxygen in the air, or maybe he's forgotten how to make his lungs work. His throat hurts so badly he can only swallow helplessly to try and keep emotion from choking him. Horror and heartache beat simultaneously in his chest as his mind whirls.

Does Parad actually want to die? But Chronicle...or is this a trick— no. Those emotions are too raw to be any sort of trick. But then...why?

_"It would appear that this is the only way to ensure that these two will be the pawns they need to be. Especially since repressing or erasing their memories won't be enough."_

_"And what way is that, Sensei?"_

_"Contradiction Programming— the more they care, the more they'll want to **hurt**."_

"Sorry," Parad mumbles, breaking the heavy silence before he takes a shuddering breath and stands up. "I shouldn't have said that."

When the bugster is about to teleport away, Emu darts out to grab a magenta sleeve in a white knuckled grip. His heart aches, deeply. Everything in him wants to grab onto Parad. Wants to pull the bugster into himself and hold him like an unexpected lifeline in the middle of a vast ocean of confusion and anguished longing.

Before he can second guess himself, Emu simply does what his heart most wants to do at the moment. Propelling himself out of his seat, Emu wraps his arms around the Parad's back and hangs onto him tight. Emu knows that it's insane, but...for the life of him, Emu can't ignore this desperate feeling that he's getting close to something important and that if he lets go now then, it'll be right to square one.

A sound not unlike a broken whine shudders out of Parad as the bugster winds himself tight around Emu, long arms wrapping around his shoulders as Parad buries his face into Emu's hair.

Pressed this close together, Emu can feel their hearts beating in unison.

_**Don't** let him go._

There's a dull pain in his head steadily growing stronger the longer he holds onto Parad. Sharp needles and pinpricks in his brain; a cruel sort of wrongness that's trying to claw its way into his skull. It wraps around his thoughts and twists his emotions like a sickening violation.

Above him, Parad hisses and pulls back to clutch the side of his head with a pained grimace.

_Don't let this thing take him away **again**._

Surging up, he smashes their mouths together in a brutal kiss that's more teeth than anything else. Almost immediately, Parad returns it with equal brutality until there's blood in their mouths and gradually, the pain lessens to a faint throb. With a strangled gasp, Emu pulls back and looks up to find Parad pinning him with a dark, dangerous gaze.

"What are we?" he murmurs against bloodstained lips.

Parad parts his lips as if to answer before faltering, expression so lost and confused that it makes Emu's heart ache.

"I wish I knew," Parad whispers, cradling Emu's face with gentle care and the pain flares up again, causing them to wince. Biting back a curse, Parad sighs and rests their foreheads together. "I mean, I _thought_ I knew, but..."

Swallowing with some difficulty, Emu reaches up to cup Parad's jaw and closes the gap between them with a kiss that's far more gentle than the one before. He winds his arms around Parad's neck as he falls into the bugster's embrace and chokes back a sob at the way Parad holds him close; gentle and protective and fierce—

As if Emu is someone _precious._

When the pain threatens to get unbearable, they break apart and Emu starts in surprise when Parad brushes a lingering kiss to his forehead.

"I'm sorry, M."

By the time Emu blinks his eyes opened, Parad is nowhere in sight.

* * *

**When daylight breaks, they scream and scream and scream— anything to drown out the sound of their hearts breaking into pieces.**

* * *


End file.
